


im confused by the notion that somebody loves me

by pomegarnet



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Bantering, Dialogue Heavy, M/M, prompted fic, what.. au is this i dont even know and i wrote it lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 11:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7842307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomegarnet/pseuds/pomegarnet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He whispers to the other, "You're the worst."</p><p>The other responds by murmuring, "I know."</p>
            </blockquote>





	im confused by the notion that somebody loves me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [washingtononyourside](https://archiveofourown.org/users/washingtononyourside/gifts).



> this is for moonz/@louisthesixteenth who prompted madilton, hope u enjoy u fucking meme
> 
> title from "the astronomer" from ghost quartet!

It’s isolating.

 

The air is cold and thick, foggy and suffocating. They had to hotwire a car just to get away from this place.

 

The smell of rotting and death isn't the most pleasant to smell.

 

They switch driving shifts; they don't abide by the law because there _isn't_ one anymore, not when everyone is dying or dead.

 

Alex is lounging in the back seat, his feet draped lazily across the cushion. James is in the front, driving to the nearest gas station or drug store so they can raid the food and supplies and go wherever they can.

 

Alex is observing the hindering leather of the seat belt, dragging and rubbing his lanky finger across of it, pinching the tip. His eyes are bloodshot yet glassy, tired and awake. “Y’know, I don’t think we’re that different, you and I.” He comments casually.

 

James is using the windshields to wipe away the mist clinging to the car windows. “What makes you say that?” He asks.

 

Alex lays his feet on the car floor before crossing his legs over each other. “I mean that we’re alike. You have to admit we have a lot of similarities.”

 

James stops the car in the middle of the road slowly, not even considering to pull over. He takes a long sip of the warm bottle of tap water in the random car’s cup holder. “You don’t get it,” He sighs, closing the water bottle cap, “You’re too ostentatious. You want attention, and that’s where we differ. I don’t.”

 

“Is that the only difference, though?”

 

“There’s too many to count. There’s a Walgreens near by,” James says before continuing to drive.

 

* * *

 

They’re in some Target in some city on an escalator when Alex says they should hijack a plane.

 

“Why the fuck would we hijack a plane.” James asks in a rhetorical manner.

 

“It was a test.” Alex states. James doesn’t respond, instead steps onto the second floor and stares at the other skeptically.

 

“I wanted to see if you’d take me seriously. You did!” Alex says gleefully.

 

James is dubious of Alex’s inclination towards him. The other isn't the best person to spend the end of the world with, but he isn't the worst one either. You get what you get.

 

They check in the store for any survivors staking it out. They find somebodies, to which they responded by robbing them of their wallets. Ethics don’t quite apply at a time like this.

 

Alex insists on being three boxes of knife sets for self defense, and James doesn’t comment on him smuggling another set in the cart dedicated to clothes.

 

They hijack a bigger car in the parking lot-- a family van, of sorts-- to store more supplies inside. They leave the other one behind in the middle of the lot. Alex moves up to the front passenger seat.

 

* * *

 

Alex notes one day that they should go to a city or travel site on their journey, because “ _There might be more people there, and we can crash in the comfort of a hotel suite._ ”

 

They land in Vegas, and there are some survivors lurking about in the luxury of the strip of the city.

 

Alex takes up the wheel for once, blazing across the strip as James takes messy and imperfect Polaroids. The pictures are blurred out and colorful, oozing with foggy neon lights.

 

“It’s like fast memories,” Alex remarks. “Have you ever remembered something exhilarating clearly?” He asks.

 

“I remember meeting you clearly.” James says, to which Alex smirks, self satisfied.

 

They crash for the night in some hotel suite up on the thirteenth floor, the room with the view of the pool.

 

The two of them sleep separately and without blankets, the heat overwhelming and over isolating.

 

It’s at around 2 o’clock in the morning when Alex crawls into bed with James. He studies the other momentarily. “Are you ok?” He asks. “You’re so tense.”

 

“I’ve always been tense, this isn’t a new discovery.”

 

“It isn’t for me,” Alex says, before draping a hand on Madison’s chest. “It’s something entirely new.”

 

James takes Alex’s hand and squeezes it for a brief moment before setting it aside.

 

* * *

 

The two of them are dallying around in a mall as they raid more of the stores for supplies, grabbing some snacks and four different kids bikes. They hijack a truck and get some free yet hot and ready food from a McDonald's that people are using as a form of shelter.

 

They eat together in the back of the truck, next to all their carry on necessities when James asks, “Where did you come from?”

 

Alex noticeably stiffens before laughing it off.

 

James eyes narrow at the foolish response and asks “What?”

 

“Nothing, nothing, it’s just amusing. I was in New York when it happened.” Alex explains, and James doesn’t note that that isn't what his original question entailed, but he can bite his tongue.

 

“Were you with anyone?”

 

Alex wipes his joy away with his thumb, a wave of grim ideas washing over him. “That is not important. I’m with you now.” He stands to go to the front of the truck and take the wheel.

 

“That doesn’t answer my question; it just makes you look cryptic and untrustworthy. An air of mystique isn't the way to go, Hamilton.”

 

“You wanna know what I am?” Alex questions clandestinely.

 

“Why are you now dramatically introducing yourself like a comic book villain?” James asks, amused.

 

“Don't ask. Don’t speak about this,” Alex says before pausing and looking away. He continues, “My first lover died around two years ago.”

 

“How so?”

 

“I said not to ask, you asshole,” He scolds before continuing, “My current girlfriend is somewhere. I don’t know where the hell she is, but she isn’t dead.”

 

Madison keeps quiet at how sure the other is about his lover's current stability.

 

Alex stands to leave the back of the truck. He stops suddenly at the door before murmuring, “She doesn’t seem to die.”

 

Madison drives for the night.

 

* * *

 

They run out of gas one night when they’re driving up the hill. After Alex complains incessantly, James proposes to take some supplies and gather on the top of the hill before checking out for the night.

 

The two of them lie down onto their blankets on the short and dying grass.

 

“Are the stars out?” Alex asks him.

 

“They always are,” James deadpans.

 

“I can’t see them. I fucking hate my eye sight.”

 

“You don’t have glasses?”

 

“They broke when…” Alex trails off before switching the subject, “What do the stars look like?”

 

“I’m not an astronomer.”

 

“Not like that! How do they _look_ like, not what constellations they are.”

 

James’s face grimaces in confusion. Describing something simple in an extraordinary fashion isn't the easiest thing to accomplish, but he can try. “They look beautiful.”

 

“So do you.” Alex says.

 

James processes his words before deadpanning, “I’m leaving without you tomorrow, you’re a mess.”

 

“Don’t.”

 

“Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.”

 

“What made you think I was upset?” Alex asks curiously.

 

“Instinct. I’m used to it by now.”

 

Alex nods in affirmation before glancing up at the blurry stars for a while.

 

“Are we gonna be ok?” Alex asks.

 

“Does it look like I know?” James questions in response.

 

Alex laughs, and that's good enough for now.

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope u liked it and maybe if u did maybe leave a comment,,,,,,,,, (eye emoji)
> 
> im on tumblr @garnetcomets, come there to watch me complain about school starting on wednesday


End file.
